The creative and spiritual journey of a (textile) recycler. . .

I have thought about starting a blog for a long time now. I just couldn’t seem to get started. I thought. . what would I say, what would I do and really . . . . . who would care.

Last year I had the great fortune to witness a ‘happening’. As a spouse at a reunion (I know, groan) I was both an observer and participant. This reunion was attended by some of the most creative and talented people on the face of the planet. Really, no exaggeration! But many were holding onto life long insecurities. They didn’t think they were talented enough and embarrassed to perform in front of each other for fear of . . who knows . . . finger pointing, whispers, laughter, ridicule of some sort for sure. Once it was revealed that many shared the same feelings, the healing began. And I was the lucky one. I got to witness it all and benefit as well.

So, the message is that we all think we are not good enough compared to someone else, but we are. Don’t let your fears and insecurities stop you. We can’t measure our own success by someone else’s talents.

This revelation and the kindness / support of strangers has propelled my creative journey to a place I had given up ever getting to. Tho I thought my creative juices were dried up forever, they have merely been reawakened. Many thanks to all involved in my process, including in-part . . Victoria B, Mrs. W., Charles Mc., Claudia H, Mary B, Cindy G, Sandy B, Traci B., Kat C, and my IAA family. So, thank you. I dedicate this blog to all of you!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Thank you Universe for the kick in the butt

This blog is about sharing my creative and spiritual experiences in hopes that you will benefit from my journey. So today's post is to say that sometimes we learn a lesson and slip backward. We get all ooey gooey and backslide. It happens. We are human. When it does, the Universe will come along and reinforce the lesson so it eventually becomes part of who we are. Here is mine:

While at the American Sewing Expo, sitting doing a Make & Take*, from my peripheral vision, I saw 2 ladies walking toward me. Didn't think anything about it. I was in an aisle wide enough for plenty of folks to shuffle along looking from side-to-side waiting for something to catch their eye. Then I heard a loud "you bitch" as a lady was coming toward me. At first I ignored it. It couldn't be directed at me. The figure kept coming closer, then stopped right next to me. I looked up and there was one of my long time buddies standing there giving me the evil eye.

As you can imagine, I was pretty stunned. What the heck had I done??? My mind raced and I couldn't think of anything that might have warranted that comment. So with my best quizzical look, I asked. 

Her response was "I had no idea how talented you are and how fabulous your work is". I was shocked again. HER work is fabulous and SHE is extremely talented. Then we both laughed and saw the horror melt off the faces of the strangers standing around us, who by-the-way took in a collective gasp at her original comment. 

You see, I'm in a number of quilting/fiber groups and rarely show my work to anyone. If I do, I select who I show it to and never ever on public display . . . or at least with my name on it. I am pretty shy even tho no one seems to believe that. And, am still growing as a quilter-fiber artist, so I feel intimidated most of the time to show what I do. Everyone in all of my groups are very talented and accomplished, some famous, some published. . . you get the idea. . . . then there's me.

All of my various groups have show n' tell and every so often I will show something, but rarely. It's that insecurity raising it's ugly head, then hearing the voice inside that says, 'everyone does better work than you. Don't let them see how bad you are and they might consider you an equal. Show your work and they will know you are not.'

So you say "yah yah yah, what's the lesson here?" As I said in my opening statement, measure your talent and success against yourself and be proud of what you do. We all have to start somewhere. I encourage everyone to join various groups of interest, even online groups. The support, skill building, and growth really take you on a path that you may not have walked otherwise. Your accomplishments and compliments are so much more significant when the praise comes from your peers.

Well, I had several such incidents over the long weekend with people gushing over my work and each time it was someone that I aspire to be as talented and prolific as. So the high praise was that much more meaningful. I was really choked up, almost to tears. I felt validated. Like I fit in. 

Thank you Universe for the kick in the butt.

~ Make & Take*, some vendors have little projects at their booth that you can make in just a few minutes and take with you. Sometimes they are free, other times a small fee. You get to try out techniques and products to see if you'd like to make a purchase. And they are usually fun!

This is one of my Make n' Takes, a metal embossed heart

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